I was reading about how researchers have been attempting to create intelligent machines by modeling them around human learning systems. How initially, they created systems solely driven by maximizing rewards and reducing negative consequence, then attempted to place these systems into various simulated game environments where they could earn points for moving to the nextContinue reading “To Conceive of a Rationalizing Machine”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
A Lineage of Repetition
I am both burdened and comforted by how my body, how women’s bodies, are built to hold. My entire physicality – my ribs, my stomach, my intestines – migrate and adjust to accommodate life. My womb controls which generations continue and which cease to exist, which bloodlines last to enjoy the intricacies of life andContinue reading “A Lineage of Repetition”
Free Fall
Every time I close my eyes, I see Afghans falling from the sky. I see them using their nails to cling onto the smooth steel skin of an airplane, begging to be let in. I see grips borne on sweaty palms from a fabric of desperation that twists and contorts and strangles like a blackContinue reading “Free Fall”
Emotional Rediscovery/Irrelevant Introspection
I’ve reached many discoveries upon becoming an “adult.” For one, I’ve perfected what my 24-year-old self looks like on paper. I can list my life accomplishments, perform a spoken-word version of them with the ease of a narcissist’s heartbeat. I can sell myself to a crowd, leaving with my net worth intact and my dignityContinue reading “Emotional Rediscovery/Irrelevant Introspection”
As the World Crumbles
As time goes on, we become numb. We become desensitized to the suffering that envelops and caresses the people of our external world. We watch the news. We read the articles and Whatsapp stories forwarded to us from nameless aunties and faceless families. We post on Instagram to spread awareness, to educate those that weContinue reading “As the World Crumbles”
Brown Intimacy Pt. 2: The Other
I found a New York Times article this morning called Love and Marriage, South Asian American Style. Written by an Indian man raised in the depths of Ohio, the article describes what contemporary arranged marriages look like for many “South Asian” Americans using specific channels to find a partner. It was a familiar read, mainly because aContinue reading “Brown Intimacy Pt. 2: The Other”
Brown Intimacy Pt. 1: The Self
Yesterday I found myself thinking about the moment I realized I was brown. The moment that established a disjoint between the person who didn’t know the meaning of color, and the person who could no longer see anything outside of it. I always knew of course, that my ethnic roots sprouted from a region whereContinue reading “Brown Intimacy Pt. 1: The Self”
In Jest, with Love
In Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace describes one of the ancillary characters as a man “whose fixed smile has the impermanent quality of something stamped into uncooperative material.” First, a stagnant feature – a smile screwed-in with sheer will and a desire for social uniformity, only to be screwed back out upon a change in circumstance.Continue reading “In Jest, with Love”
Love, Outside of Capitalism
I went to get a manicure at this small nail salon last week. I picked maroon like I usually do – in the spirit of winter colors and February festivities – and sat in front of a man who I could barely hear through the masks and plexiglass between us. Even though we were inContinue reading “Love, Outside of Capitalism”
A Guide to Self-Fetishization: “South Asian” Edition
I always thought of my body as a canvas for identity. The black body hair growing out of my stark brown skin as an ode to my roots. Skin stretching over fat and muscle forming curves and flat planes, sprinkled with stretchmarks to remind me how seamlessly I’ve grown. Skin that the sun greets likeContinue reading “A Guide to Self-Fetishization: “South Asian” Edition”
In an Effort to Describe
I’ve become significantly more reclusive as of late. Maybe because now I don’t find myself in a city surrounded by people, or because I no longer feel the need to interact so frequently. And in this state of reclusion, I’ve begun to ruminate in my thoughts. I search in an almost cyclical way – plungingContinue reading “In an Effort to Describe”
Hollow Voices at Long Tables
A few people that I have been acquainted with over the years have turned into motivational Instagram influencers. In an articulate and empathetic fashion, they bring together affirmations and human psychology to represent the confidence that they hold within themselves. They then attempt to instill that confidence into their viewership – they reach out ofContinue reading “Hollow Voices at Long Tables”
Plagued by Expression
I started writing in October last year, for reasons triggered by a series of events irrelevant enough to be forgotten. Most likely in an attempt to express my own significance. Or to watch my thoughts grow outside of myself for a change, watch them shift and contort into something with a little more perspective thanContinue reading “Plagued by Expression”
The Musings of Cold Marble and Dancing Candles
While having conversations about New Year’s resolutions in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been putting much thought into the type of life I want to be building for myself. Usually, this thought process begins with establishing some sort of metric for measuring what a high quality of life is. Financial security falls into thisContinue reading “The Musings of Cold Marble and Dancing Candles”
It Really is the Simple Things
The majority of my life falls within two major buckets – personal fulfillment and human connection. Personal fulfillment meaning work and the work life balance, hobbies and activities I enjoy, travel, writing, dancing, and so on. Human connection meaning the things I do to connect with others – the types of people I choose toContinue reading “It Really is the Simple Things”
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